This is why we hate schools.

Posted: November 28, 2010 in Humourous Anecdotes, Scattered Opinions
Tags: , ,

Remember my clash exam yesterday? The creepy thing about it was how we were quarantined from the rest of the university. No really, they dumped us in a room in the basement, just us two girls and an invigilator, and that was it. I think the administration underestimates the power of an exam room, if we’d been placed in a room filled with strangers that had no clue what our course was about and thus couldn’t help us cheat, it would have been a shit load better than being all alone. Of course, the administration would know this if they had any brains at all, which I know for a fact that they don’t.

Ironically enough, both me and my friend finished the first exam at the same time, about fifteen minutes before our time ended. We had every intention of just hanging out and chilling for the remaining fifteen minutes, since the dipshit rules for clashes state that you can’t study for the next exam if you finish early. (Which brings me to an important point; Dear uni, FUCK YOU. Thank you.)

Now, the dipshit invigilator-we’ll come to why he’s a dipshit at the end- was kind enough to inform us that he didn’t think we’d finish the paper within 90 minutes. (We did; he failed to remember that we weren’t doing our BA like him and thus, did not have to write ten pages for a 5 marks question). My friend panicked and we decided to start then and there without wasting time.

So, in b/w, we switched invigilators. This is an important point to distiguish Dipshit 1 from Asshole 1. So after the first two questions, I realized that I really, really, REALLY had to go the bathroom, ASAP. Now see, this is the one great thing about unis; if you gotta go, you get up and leave the class. If you’re a junior, you’re polite enough to gesture at the teacher and excuse yourself; if a senior or me, you up and leave, do your business, and come back. Simple. Now this is convenient when the teacher is a dude cause lets face it, I can’t tell a guy I gotta go to the can. I mean, really. So, I ask Asshole 1 if I can go. He says no, its against the rules and I beg the guy, I’m saying, dude, I really gotta go! (Note to self; next time, its better to say, “I gotta go, my vagina is bleeding!” Not even “I’m getting my period”. Bleeding vaginas dude. If that doesn’t work, I will officially lose my faith in all of the male species.)

Anyway, I begged and pleaded and pointed out that these rules shouldn’t apply in a clash and I didn’t even have my phone for fuck’s sake! Didn’t work. So, I had to do my paper while battling my er, body. The last question was a doozie, it didn’t make sense, but it was for 5 marks. I could have BS’d my way through it, gotten at least 2.5. Instead, at that point, a tired, frazzled, and desperate to go to the loo me said, “Fuck this shit, I’m out.”

Now back to Dipshit 1. He was kind enough to (mis)inform us that the paper was a long one, and thus took away my peebreak. If that wasn’t enough, by telling us that we should start then, he left us with the assumption that he was giving us an extra 15 minutes. Think about it, the dude says, ‘I don’t think this will finish in 90 nminutes, you should start now” what does that translate to?! Apparently, that’s not what it meant to him, and therefore, my poor friend fucked up her last question. Thus making him a dipshit.

I’ll forgive Dipshit 1. But as for Asshole 1, well one day my friend, one day, you will get the mother of all urine infections, and you will Google up solutions, and you will come across my blog because I wrote urine infection, and you will read this, and remember the fat chick who, for whatever reason, was wearing a pink sweater over blue clothes, and was begging you to let her go to the washroom, and you will remember a) Me, and b) Karma’s a bitch. And you will cry, and beg my forgiveness. And I will smile and deny you that pleasure so that your infection WON’T get better due to the good karma generated by your apology and then I will go and do my business and hum happily while you cry and scream in pain from doing yours. BUAHAHAHA.

And yes, this really was a long, long, LONG rant about how someone did not let me go to the bathroom. When I was little mom always told me, “Baat mukhtasir bolo” but I couldn’t so my solution was to speak really really fast. Too bad that principle doesn’t apply to blogging. 😀

  1. Xehra says:

    ROFL! God that was really too much for a major LOL. 😀 Mother of all urine infections, woof! touba! =P

  2. haha, this was brilliant. Awesome post, couldn’t stop laughing.

    What a dipshit.

    I think you should just pee into his tea next time and watch him drink it. You’ll feel better.

    • Ghausia says:

      I’m glad my pain is so amusing to you dude. 😛 Oh yeah that’s another thing, WE couldn’t go have lunch even, and a peon brought Dipshit 1 tea! What did he need tea FOR?!

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