My life in a girl’s school- Lessons I learnt.

Posted: January 2, 2011 in Child Marriages, Education, Feminism, Marriage
Tags: , , , ,

I don’t look back kindly on my school years because I had crappy teachers, ridiculously uninspired courses, and a seriously awkward adolescence that I’m sure I still haven’t grown out of. But looking back at the girls I knew, I realize how much I learned about the plight of females fromthe lower-income families, but never understood until years later.

These girls were from families that recognized that a little education was important, but only enough to get their daughter, their ever encumbersome daughters married off. By the time I was in high school, there were a lot of jokes about parents nagging at us with hints of marriage; I still make such jokes with friends at uni. But the sad fact is, for the girls from school, these jokes would eventually become reality.

My school wasn’t a very good school but many of my friends, batchmates, rivals, etc. were smart girls. They were talented, active in extra-curriculars, got good grades. When I thought of the future, I saw some of them becoming artists and designers, or entrepreneurs or doctors or lawyers, grand, lofty posts because they had the skills and calibre to reach such heights. Come graduation, we made the usual promises to keep in touch, and gradually drifted apart. I went to a great college, and learned to be more open-minded and less judgmental. I made good friends, smart, enlightened people and realized how miserable I’d been at school. Life was good. Then the news started trickling through the grapevine as word came of so-and-so girl getting married or engaged. Many never made it to college. Some dropped out. Others survived till their intermediate. One of my good friends was the lucky ones; She married a Canadian man after her intermediate, and now, she’s in Canada studying psychology. But she’s pretty much the only one that got a break. The rest, well. Like I said, one by one, they all got married off.

What happened to the girls I knew is just plain depressing. Many did get to university. But the ones that didn’t ,the ones that are now stuck as housewives, they did not deserve that fate. Some are happy; some aren’t. But those that are happy, I believe that is part of the indoctrination of our society. The constant talks of ‘my daughter will Inshallah go to her own home one day’ like its such a great honour, and of how marriage changes everything makes these girls grow up accepting their roles. The fact that our society grooms these girls to accept this, to accept that this is all life will ever be, is not just repulsive, but immensely sad.

Seventeen is not, and never will be, an acceptable age to marry. The country was robbed of immense talent which is always a tragedy. But the greater tragedy lies in the fact that those girls were robbed of their childhood. Because no matter what religious excuses you use, a 16 or 17-year-old is in no way an adult.

  1. Ugly Shoelace says:


  2. amnamela says:

    😦 i wish i could give you a hug abhi.
    i joined a fb group called ‘i lost my sanity in an all-girls school’
    but it wasn’t just the all girls school i went to.
    elementary, middle school, high school, o levels, a levels, college- there have been immensely difficult social situations to tackle all along.
    i guess everyone has crazy coming-of-age stories to tell.
    except the giggly airhead girls who are happy simply because they’re airheads.
    i hope you get to come to lahore sometime so we can meet up and talk about these things face to face!

    • Ghausia says:

      My school was great but a new principal sent it to hell, all she was interested in was partying it up in the UK/US or forcing us into boring activities for her teachers something center. The fact that I was middle-class in a school of majority lower middle-class didn’t help matters. I hardly keep in touch with the people I loved because they just aren’t my type anymore, after attending a liberal, posh college.

      I REALLY wanna come to Lahore. πŸ˜€ I think for a couple of years its impossible, bhai ki shadi, getting a house built, papa wouldn’t want to blow money on a leisure trip for me. πŸ˜› But whenever I do we’ll talk! And eat. Its why I wanna go to Lahore dude, for the food. πŸ˜€

  3. Hamza Malik says:

    What’s in that password protected post? :S

    Oh and do please come to Lahore. You’ll love it here! πŸ˜€

    • Ghausia says:

      Its the old posts, they’re locked because I’m hunkering down in my bunker till the storm blows over or till I get married to some Amreeki/Englistani who’ll whisk me away from this godforsaken place. I’ve been there about five years ago I think, the food was awesome. πŸ˜€

  4. Hamza Malik says:

    Well you need to come back. The food has grown awesome-r now if there be such a word as that. πŸ˜›

    And you can go see where Baba proclaimed Pakistan will become reality. πŸ˜€

    • Ghausia says:

      Well I won’t be coming for a couple of years, but maybe after graduation I will. πŸ˜€ Or I’ll hitch a ride if my dad has a business trip! I really wanna do the tourist bit!

      Eh screw it, the reality is shit, lets go to Amreeka! πŸ˜€

  5. Ugly Shoelace says:

    GRSALAM – Where has thou vanished?

    • Ghausia says:

      Oh, I just didn’t have anything to blog about plus, I didn’t have time to think about it cause I was so busy with numerous presentations and reports. I miss yooouuu!

  6. Attaya Hassan says:

    Too good.

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